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Hitman : That is exactly what you will do

January 18, 2008

Bald Barcode ManMy god it was an awful movie. The game, though I have never played seems to be (or have been) pretty popular. The movie was just godawful.

The basic plot (which seemed like a few murders and a couple of explosions) is clearly not much to talk about. This one guy has been balded since birth and given a barcode on his head. I wonder if it will work at a supermarket. He is this super trained, cool customer macho bugger. He is being chased by this interpol officer with a very odd accent ( very neither here nor there). And like most amazing hollywood action flicks ends up in RUSSIA.

A couple of murders and chases later he is fighting a few more of his own kind (Read bald with a barcode) with freaking Kitanas. Why in the good world would four bald guys with barcodes on their heads will wear three piece suits and fight with kitanas. (I had a pirated copy and some women in the theatre started laughing real loud in this scene). Man that was a funny moment.

And then the hero hitman (Who is hardly different from a mannequinn in a suit shop) meets this.. .. Wait for It…. ‘Russian Chick’. He is initially trying ti kill her but realises that she is this cool key to a lot of secrets. Now he is her sole protector in the whole wide world.

Well, after a few more murders and explosions later the movie comes to an end with a brief entry by a CIA operative team.. At this moment, you feel like saying, “Who the fuck does he work for? Why does he do whathe does? When does he shave his head and of course Does the barcode work at a supermarket?

And after a few more such niggling questions and enduring the sheer trauma of some BAD BAD BAD acting I went to sleep.

Sleep is so much better that the slow death that was.. Hitman.

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3 comments

  1. I really like your review…that is funny but true…I asked also what was the barcode doing in the back of his head??? Does it work in the supermarket or department store??? Why it is in the back of his head??? not in the forehead??? Theres a lot of unexplained things in the movie, isn’t it??? I hate to criticized much but when I read your review I realized it is not good to lie right…


  2. its not so bad man!


  3. its been a month, since u wrote something man



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